What the hell am I doing!?
31.07.2013 - 18.02.2014 5 °C
Hi there everyone
I'm sitting in the Hostel International Vancouver, having endured a grueling 13.5 hour flight across the Pacific (with a row to myself courtesy of Rick Arnell) and it is absolutely miserable weather here. I'm only going to start with a short entry about why I decided to pack up my life and head overseas, before I get into the fun stuff.
I count my blessings for having a great family who offer a lot of support and encouragement. My parents are rarely tempered in their pride for my brother, sister and I. They always pushed us to be inquisitive, to pursue new challenges and, above all else, make sure that whatever we do makes us and those around us happy. They will always be there to help us in whatever path we choose, with a little bit of advice where we seem to straying. Time, and a few stumbles along the way, have taught me to appreciate them more and more for the amazing parents they are. Mum and Dad have an amazing time in Myanmar and China this year, and hopefully see you in the UK sometime in the next two years. I love you. I am also committed to sending my nan, 'naughty nanny' (that's right folks, she refers to herself this way) a postcard from every city I visit in North America. While she's a pretty cluey thing, she can't work the fangled interwebnet so I'll tell her how much I love her the old fashioned long distance way.
My sister and brother couldn't be more different; I tend to think I have adopted the best and worst qualities of both of them over the years. But I cherish my relationship with both of them, and admire them for the way they have overcome the roadblocks in their lives to be where they are today. It's slightly disturbing for people to hear Christie and I talk about Grand Designs, Ikea and Pottery Barn so often, but we can talk about anything and we are basically in sync. Unless of course it comes to a choice between mat and polish finish, that's where we risk WW3. I couldn't be happier to call TG my brother in law and to have two adorable nephews. Hell will freeze over before I ever have my own kids ewww, but I love those guys so much. I can't wait to see to see them grow up. And even though I was only able to see my brother every few months courtesy of a flight down to Melbourne, I miss him and our stupid conversations a lot. I told Tim at our joint birthday a few years ago that the way he gets along with everyone, makes everyone so comfortable and happy, made me want to be a less hostile, and more generally a better person (those who knew me in high school will know how much of a drama queen I was).
I was of two minds during my Friday night dinner and gay church (Beresford Sundays) farewells last weekend. I realised I have the kindest, most generous, sexiest, comedic, talented, well-groomed, wittiest, sexiest friends anyone could ask for. Seriously though, dayum its a sexy bunch of people! Alyce, Bec, Flick, Dave and Jake, thank you for my care package. There was a little too much in-your-endo there, but mostly it was love and well-wishes. I'm so glad I got to see so many of you before I left; I know the next few months will have a few difficult moments where I want to turn to you for a hug, to laugh at one of my invariably ridiculous moments, or just to see your face, and can't.
I was also incredibly fortunate to land a dream job with the City of Sydney Council, gaining experience in a profession I hope to learn from and contribute to for the rest of my life. I've realised that urban planning is my passion and I know that it will take me all around the world, introduce me to incredible people and involve me in projects that can affect at multiple scales. Fingers crossed I can pick something up in the UK that offers me the opportunities and friendship I got with the City. I just have to remember: when someone offers me a pumpkin scone, HURL THAT THING AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE TO AVOID BLOWING UP THE OFFICE! Special shout out to Emma Finnegan for getting me the job in the first place; I know you're going to be my tyrannical boss by the time I get back.
So with all that said, the reason that I decided to leave it all behind and go on an extended sojourn through North America and then do something no Aussie has ever done and *GASP* got a working holiday visa in the UK, is for a few reasons. I've never made secret my love of traveling and my desire to work in the UK. I have a lot of amazing friends that I can't wait to see, friends that I have made both during my last UK trip in 2010 and through debaucherous nights out in Sydney. Be prepared for a hurricane of hugs and embarrassing moments when I come visit people. Fingers crossed that all pays off!
The main reason I made the snap decision to by my ticket in the first place, that with all the amazing friends, family and experiences I have had back home, I've felt incredibly lonely at times. I know, I know, I'm only 24 but the fact that the longest relationship I had was with a lovely but overly fake tanned, duckfaced Brit who had no ambition and no desire to travel further than Tenerife (i.e. NOTHING IN COMMON) really says a lot. The worst part is that the very few times I've found THE guy for me, he's either been too damaged, too self-involved or too disinterested (or a combination of the three) to reciprocate the feelings. I know that in those cases where people have shown an interest in me and I haven't returned the feelings, I've sometimes been cruel, or dismissive, or it's just been bad timing.
I don't expect to find "the one" overseas (even though the Tarot card reader I saw in January said that April would be the month I find my long term parter/husband. Woo hoo). I'm not that tragic, but I'm hoping that taking myself out of my comfort zone brings happiness and fills that annoying niggling little void.
Anyway! That was pretty sopptastic. Below is a picture of me with a moose hat. Am I not the cutest!? The next blog will recount one of the most ridiculous and hedonistic weeks of my life in Vancouver so hope you enjoy. Love you all xx